My story begins on a deserted island, where my parents were stranded. I was conceived after a bad fight over a coconut lead to passionate make up sex. I owe my music abilities to a small primate named fred I befriended as a child. We would gather the skulls of dead animals and beat on them, each one had it's own distinct sound. When fred died I honored him by playing on his skull relentlessly as I cried out in pain. I fashioned a makeshift string instrument from Freds muscles and tendons. We ate the rest of him, nothing went to waste. When we were rescued we moved to Kentucky. I joined the circus for a while working as a human cannonball and moved up to head lion tamer. The bearded lady, lizard boy, and I formed a three piece polka band but eventually it fell apart. After many bands and many years I decided to write and record my own music. I owe it all to my sweet Fred.
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